This would be nice for a little loop, but as a song it needs some work.
Nice melody but rather robotic in structure. Some dynamics and increased range would liven it up. You mention adding a cello. That would be interesting because of the range of the cello and of the piano. Usually someone would add a violin or flute to such a sparse arrangement but cello would be nice considering what range you keep it in (or make it more virtuosic for the cello, which is also a viable option.
Out of curiosity, what are you using to produce piano sound? Is it a VST because it sounds very nice.
Yeah, the dynamics didn't really transfer over as well as I would have liked them too. I was too focused on trying to play in time(I usually play with more feeling and time doesn't matter as much to me). The piano is one of the regular acoustic piano's in Logic 8 and I messed around with the equalizer. I think when I upload the more full version of this I'll play around more with the dynamics like you said so it sounds more human. Thanks for the review! =]
A couple of things.
The vocals seem pretty nonchalant for the subject matter. My opinion is that you need to be, um, more pissed off. haha Get some grit in that voice!
The chords are really generic and predictable and remain the same the entire song which made them kind of boring to listen to.
A basic rule of thumb: when you have distortion, you usually want drums in there too.
Yeah, our drummer just died of aids and our guitarist has no hands so he was forced to play with his feet. Also our singer is Microsoft Sam. Who's the asshole now?
Yeah, 100% Pink Floyd until the melody/solo came in. haha The likeness was uncanny. Slayer still sounds like crap in my opinion, sounds way too electronic and has no bottom end and crunch.
I see this as more of a loop than an actual song since it's the same chords the whole time. This would be a sick loop though.
Even though they're fairly simple, I still like the drums a lot, you got a great sound out of them.
Yeah, I don't particularly like Slayer either, but I thought it was ok for this song. The drums were made with Ezdrummer. I actually play drums, but I have no way of recording myself... oh well.
And at the Pink Floyd thing, I don't even listen to them! lol, funny how that works.
You said the verse is long, but the chorus is long too.
The reason why it seems long is that it is really repetitive.
The ukulele is nice touch, it's something different.
Your voice is pretty good when it's clear as to what you're saying.
Let's not talk about the sound quality. haha
yeah i agree im gonna redo it when i got the recording equipment
and il make sure i space it out a bit more cos i just got one massive verse followed by one massive chorus and an end so next time i'll try to get a verse chorus verse thing going on
thanx 4 the advice
Nice job separating the parts up a bit.
The guitar still sounds a little muddy, not sure if it's in tune.
As Aliath mentioned, it does get a little repetitive since the chord progression remains relatively the same throughout.
A definite improvement though!
Mix. Layering. Melody.
The mix is the biggest issue here. The guitar tracks (I'm pretty sure there is more than one) are too loud and everything else too quiet.
The thing with layering guitars is that, for the most part, you want each to remain distinct yet compliment the other tracks. The result in this song was too much "meshing" and not enough distinctness. It was hard to tell which track was which at most points, which created a muddy drone for most of the song.
What you can do to keep this from happening is 1) panning different tracks to the left and right speaker, 2) using different overdrives/distortion/tones, 3) making sure that the strumming pattern is different from the other tracks yet compliments the other tracks (a hard thing to do but when done right sounds great).
Nice progression but the melody could definitely be more clear. Maybe have a brass instrument take over the melody?
The drums are occasionally off.
The bass is VERY loud.
Out of curiosity, real or electronic guitars? I think I know the answer but I might be surprised.
The "break"-ish kind of thing at :25 really made this song, but I think it could have stood on its own for twice the original length. Granted, it's is a loop but this begs to be made into a complete song.
The vocals and and guitar really complement each other, but the vocals need to be louder (can't tell what you're saying really). As you said, the quality is low but it's alright.
well I did a little bit of vocals here during the chorus and outro, but as I said we were first starting out, and our vocalist was a bit shy, the other ones he got a little more comfortable with it
Vocals, mix, etc.
The vocals sound isolated, and for a non-imposing voice such a yours that's not a good thing. It doesn't hurt sometimes to get your vocals deeper into the mix.
Guitar has a good riff but needs to be louder because it's overpowered by the drums.
These are simple fixes but they make a huge difference.
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